Cape Town: Take 4!

It’s been quite a while since my last post. A lot of good times have passed since then and I’m sure I won’t remember everything but I will do my best!  Also, there is no way I will be able to put this post in chronological order because everything is so jumbled in my mind. Anyway here goes!

The first thing I would like to talk about is a nice little rugby game I attended at Stellenbosch University right outside of Cape Town. For those of you who don’t know about Varsity Cup Rugby, the UCT Ikeys and the Stellenbosch Maties are each other’s biggest rivals. So there was no way I was gonna miss this game. It happened a couple a weeks ago and I went with a bunch of the guys in my house who play on the under 20’s UCT rugby team. The first thing you need to know about Stellenbosch University is the fact that it is a primarily Dutch university. So nearly everyone there speaks Afrikaans. Another thing you need to know is that Dutch men are F@#&ing huge. Like huge cock diesel dudes meat-headed out of their minds and belligerent as all hell. So it was intimidating to be sitting in a stadium of easily twenty thousand drunken, Stellenbosch fans with a contingent of about two to three hundred UCT fans.  We lost the game pretty bad but the game isn’t really what I want to talk about. This is a warning to anyone who goes to a UCT Stellenbosch rivalry game in Stellenbosch. Unlike UCT where we are somewhat civilized and only serve beer in plastic cups in the stands, at Stellenbosch they sell 16oz cans to already hammered and unruly college students inside the stadium. And these Dutchmen throw these cans at UCT students more than they actually drink the beer inside of them. So even though we were getting our asses handed to us by probably the best Varsity Cup Team this year, we were nevertheless pummeled by half empty Black Labels after every single score. It definitely didn’t help that we were all chanting, “Fuck you Stellenbosch! I said fuck you Stellenbosch!” I probably spent more time looking to the sky dodging beer cans flying at our section than actually watching the game. I wish I would have taken a picture because at any given time there were probably fifty to sixty cans in the air. I couldn’t help but laugh the whole time (especially when I saw a bunch of guys around me start just catching the cans and drinking the beer inside of them and then throwing them back) until I got nailed right in the side of the head, then I went into fight or flight mode and became Mr. Swat The Can Man. Regardless it was an unforgettable experience and unlike any college sporting event I have ever been to!

That same weekend I also went with a bunch of friends to Stellenbosch to go wine-tasting for my very first time. Stellenbosch reminds me so much of the Napa Valley for its unbelievable beauty. It is chalk full of gorgeous wineries and surrounded by magnificent mountains. We went to two separate wineries and tried ten different wines. I can’t really talk about the wines we had because I don’t know anything about wines.  All I can say is that they were drinkable and I could tell there was a difference between all of them. That’s about it. Actually there was a red wine called a Malbec that tasted chocolaty. I liked it. But whatever. The best partabout Stellenbosch and the real reason I went was to go to a place called Cheetah Outreach. My neighbor Cindy from back in Auburn worked there for six months a few years ago and put me in contact with the woman who helps run Cheetah Outreach. Her name is Lesta. She gave me and my friends a private tour around the compound introducing us to a number of furry little creatures along the way. Among these animals were Anatolian Shepherds,  a Serval, a couple Jackals, a Caracal, weird looking goat sheeps, two of the cutest yet somewhat shit headed little Meerkats you’ll ever meet (because they continuously chomp at Lesta’s fingers), possibly the  greatest animals I’ve ever got to play with in my life called Bat-Eared Foxes, and of course Cheetahs! Obviously I loved all of the animals because anyone who knows me at all knows that I’m crazy about all of earth’s creatures (except for bugs, I hate bugs, they creep me out), but I have to say the Bat-Eared Foxes and the Cheetahs are definitely the best. Something about those little foxes made me happier than a dog with two tails! They were running all around us and smiling and letting us pet them. And the experience of sitting next to and petting the world’s fastest land mammal and one of Africa’s most endangered animals was out of this world. Cheetah Outreach is so effective because of the integrated approach they take to conservation. For instance, in addition to serving as a great ambassador for Cheetahs, they also breed Anatolian Shepherds to send to farms in Northern South Africa where Cheetahs predominantly reside. The Anatolian Shepherds are used to fend off Cheetahs from killing the livestock and as a result farmers no longer have to shoot cheetahs to protect their livestock, which has been one of the biggest reasons Cheetahs have become so endangered.  Huge thanks to Lesta and of course a huge thanks to Cindy Wheeler for putting me in contact with Cheetah Outreach and making the experience possible!

St. Paddy’s Day last weekend was an absolute success. I have a lot of friends out here who go to Boston College which is great for shit-talking being that I’m a diehard for the greatest university on Earth besides Cal, THE University of Notre Dame. But that’s beside the point. These kids truly know how to party on St. Patrick’s Day. First a few of us started the day at a place called the Old Biscuit Mill. OBM is in a little neighborhood down the way called Woodstock. It is essentially a massive indoor/outdoor food market that opens every Saturday. There are hundreds of different venders selling all kinds of delicious food. It reminds me of some kind of farmers market, but like a farmers market times ten, and not just healthy food. Let’s see, the first time I went I got what’s called a Man Dog and then on St. Paddy’s Day I bought a monstrous, multi-layer, drizzling, super-duper Springbock Breakfast Burger. It was a creation of epic proportions and I was really unsure about how to attack it but I found a way to put it away. Anyway, after Old Biscuit Mill, I taught my housemates a great drinking game called caps (taught to me by the one and only Evan Kotey) that kept us entertained for a good two hours. Then my buddy Kevin Toomey threw a great little braai at Charlton house down the way before we all went to Long Street. There is no better place to go on St. Paddy’s Day in Cape Town, in my professional St. Paddy’s Day opinion, than The Dubliner on Long Street. A massive, three story Irish pub. Needless to say I jigged and giggled all night long. It was “great craic” (pronounced crack) as the Irish would say and it wouldn’t have been a proper St. Paddy’s Day without a few (dozen) pints of Guinness and a little Jamey! Right Eanna O’Siadhail?!?!  

I recently went exploring around downtown Cape Town to a couple places I have yet to see.  Namely to the Castle of Good Hope and to a place called the Pan African Market on Long Street. The Pan African Market is this huge building on Long Street that I swear used to be a hotel or something. It’s three stories high and inside are literally hundreds of rooms full of different art, and wood crafts from all over Africa. This is definitely the place to get souvenirs to bring back. There were probably a good ten rooms inside of the market that were full up entirely with African masks. Hundreds and hundreds of masks from different tribes all over. Every room I walked by I was greeted by the typical, “Come in. Please come in. Look at my work. Not just for buying. Free to look and touch! But for California boy I’ll give best price!" It’s quite evident that these shop owners depend on tourists for their income and obviously want you to buy stuff, so it did get a little uncomfortable constantly having to remind them that I really was only just looking that day. And there are so many shops that competition between shop owners I’m sure is difficult on many of them, especially those located in more isolated parts of the building. However, I’m here for a long time and will most definitely be back.  After, I went to the Castle of Good Hope, the oldest building in Cape Town, built by the Dutch East India Company between 1666 and 1679. There I learned a little more about Cape Town’s history and checked out its numerous museums, armories, and dungeons/torture chambers!

It seems like every weekend for the last month the bigger international houses have had ridiculous house party (lots of birthday parties).  Last Monday, in celebration of the end of the UCT Ikeys rugby season, the rugby fellas found a way to pack about 100 people into our house and as a result found a way to get to know the local police very well too. They came at least 5 times. What’s funny is how easy it is to talk to the police here. Unlike in the states, they don’t feel entitled to come in your house. They seemed very cool about everything. Just talked to us for a little and asked us to be a little quieter. However, a recent email to Lover’s Walk, Charlton, and Lyle provided us all with our official warning about not having any more parties. We’ll see what happens. Ida Cooper seems to think we should be able to do what we want. Ida is one hip woman. Old as she is she is so young at heart. I love her!  

I can now say that I have climbed every mountain in Cape Town since I recently made my way up Table Mountain. And because the day I went was a really cloudy day on top of the mountain now I know what it feels like to be inside a cloud! Once you’ve made your way to the top (I took the Platteklip Gorge route on the front side) you enter an entirely new ecosystem, home to hundreds of its own unique flora and fauna. I was lucky enough to spot a sweet little lizard that was actually not so little. Don’t know what it exactly was but it was pretty cool. Although it was cloudy as hell on top of Table Mountain, periodically the wind would blow the clouds away for a short while and expose in my opinion the most beautiful view of Cape Town. But I had to be quick with my camera because as soon as the clouds were blown away they’d be back. And when they came back I could literally see nothing but the twenty or so feet in front of me. I definitely want to climb Table Mountain again but next time from the opposite side of the mountain starting in the Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens (the Skeleton Gorge route :/ ), perhaps on a day where it isn’t cloudy and I can get a good view of everything. It feels good to have climbed the big three mountains here in Cape Town. And I’m realizing now that I’ve actually swam in three of the five oceans! Indian, Pacific, and Atlantic!

Shawco has been going on for a few weeks now. Shawco for those of you who haven’t read my previous posts is a program at UCT that takes UCT students to local townships and schools to help tutor kids. The ages range from 1^st graders to high school students. I’m working in a town called Kensington in a program called Kenstep. Every week I get to hang out with two awesome little guys named Bryton and Marcello. They are fifth graders. They love sports, Grand Theft Auto, and recently hacky-sack. I brought my hacky-sack a couple weeks ago and they can’t get enough of it. So once we get through the lesson or at least the important stuff, and a few games of hang-man of course, we hack it up for 20 minutes or so. No joke they go crazy for it. There’s also a ton of other kids in Kenstep all over the place that make for one wild environment. I taught a bunch of them a great song that goes a little something like this: Hey Idduly Didduly Fidduly! Ishkidduly Oat and Boat! And Bobo Skadeet and Dat! And Waddat and Chew! It’s a truly captivating and rich song. Quick and straight to the point. Learned it when I was just a wee little Williams. Works remarkably well as a repeat after me song.  If you ever wanna learn it I’ll show it to you because there’s a very distinct way you have to sing it for it to sound right. Anyway. Yea. It’s always a blast and I’ve noticed my stomach usually hurts a little when I leave from all the laughing. I can also tell that Marcello and Bryton love goofing on me when every once in a while they say something to each other in Afrikaans and then break out into hysterical laughter. I just recently signed up for another day of Shawco in a different township called Manenberg. My friend Anna said that where she volunteers she works with huge groups of youngsters, and that they are always looking for more volunteers and I really don’t have anything to do on Friday afternoons so I figured, why not. Plus I’m really just a big kid myself so what better place for me to volunteer than with a huge a group of like 25 crazy little kids. Shawco’s awesome. I love it.

I continue to go surfing probably once a week. Most of the time I go to Muizenburg Beach which is just a 45 minute train ride away but recently I went to a place called Big Bay with my German friend Felix Badass (there can be only one!). This was probably my best ever day of surfing. The waves were most definitely the largest I’ve ever surfed. Like ten feet or so at their peak. I was so juiced on how well I did that last weekend when I went I thought what the hell I’ll try out a short board. I can do it! But I forgot about St. Paddy’s Day the day before and was disappointed when all I did was flail around in the water for two hours attempting poorly to ride waves that continued in succession to annihilate me over and over again. I’ll get my shit together over spring break.  

At this point I want to tell you about all of my new favorite SA lingo/ slang words or phrases. First off, the most insulting thing one can say to someone in Afrikaans, which I picked up from all of the crazy Afrikaans speaking people at the most recent Cape Town Stormers rugby match I went to, is “Yo Ma Se Poes!” Which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, just “poes” is pronounced puss and they mean a word much worse than puss. Ha. Let’s just say I shouldn’t ever say it in public, but I’ll most definitely hear it from time to time, especially at rugby games or from mini taxi drivers having a bad day. Another word, “Moi” (pronounced moy) means good. People also say “Shot” when they want to say thank you. Like if I bought my friend a brew he might say “Shot Shot”. People call traffic lights out here robots. Another great one is “oke”. In America an “oke” (pronounced oak) would be a dude or a guy or a fella. One phrase I hear a lot is “look at these okes!” Also, the term for party or good time is “Jol” (pronounced like bowl but with a j). The trunk of a car is called the “boot”. Also, when someone means they will be somewhere soon, they say “I will be there now now.” And people also use the word “now” to mean any amount of time up to and including one to two maybe even three to four weeks. For instance, you might not be seeing your discussion section teacher for a week but he or she might say, “I’ll see you now.” Very confusing. And lastly the one that has baffled me for a while now for its inherent grammatical weirdness, but oddly enough is growing on me quite a bit, is the phrase “Is it?”. When someone tells someone something out here that in the states we would respond with “really?” (e.g. “Oh no! Two great white sharks have just attacked and eaten that goofy looking Puerto Rican! . . . “Really!?”), in South Africa they respond with “Is it?” It makes no sense whatsoever but for some reason it sounds kinda nice. These are just a few slang words /phrases used out here. I’m sure there are a bunch I’m forgetting.

This past Saturday night was Carnival of Brazil in Cape Town, which is a huge festival that happens mainly in Brazil, but I guess also here in Cape Town. Basically it was a massive street parade in Green Point, a nicer area near downtown. The entirety of the main road running through Green Point was blocked off so it had a very Mardi Gras type feel. It was wild. I saw some boobies.  

Well that’s seems to be about all I can conjure up from memory right now. The night life is crazy as usual and I continue to find new spots to go to with all my friends. I’ve started playing the guitar a bunch again which is nice because it’s been a while. March Madness back in the states has been very exciting to follow as well because I’m tearin it up in my pool right now. My bracket is looking damn good except for the bs Notre Dame pulled in the first round. And SF Giants baseball is getting going here pretty soon too which excites me tremendously! The Warriors suck as usual and Spring break is coming up here at the end of the week. Many of us will be kicking it off this Saturday night by going to see Avicii and the group Goldfish, one of Cape Town’s most famous electronic duos! Should be a nice little jol! I won’t be traveling like many of my friends are over spring break, so I’ll just be living it up here in Cape Town. Gotta save my dough because I'm planning on taking a two month overland trip up to Kenya this summer. Should be the most insane adventure of my entire life!  

As always I love and miss you all!

Patrick “Carpal Tunnel” Williams